Rolling

Are you ready for weekly wisdom from me, Mabel Sweet Good Girl?

Well, there’s a lot about my human I super love, like she knows I have so much energy to burn, but I also get nervous. This week, we were at our regular SniffSpot, and because it was too cold for me to chase water from the hose, I just stood there and ate grass. So, we did ten minutes of fun, easy training, then went home and played tug. I love tug almost as much as treats. Well, treats are the best, but the tug is fantastic, too. I always tug my toys at home, where I feel safe. 

Now, here’s the thing I’d like for you to help me change about my human, her disdain for doo-doo. She’s let me tell her what I need lots of time, but she doesn’t seem to get that I need to roll in and eat poop. Yeah, yeah, it’s okay when she sees me going in for the roll and tells me, “You can pee on it.” I do, of course, because I get treats. But walking away from piles of goose poop is so hard.

How does she not appreciate that deer dung is delicious? Thrashing on the teeniest tiniest fleck of bird turds is bonkers fun. Finding feces in a pile of leaves and smothering myself with it before my human knows what happened is a riot. You could ask her to make turd-flavored treats for me. I’d like those a lot.

She says she’s lucky I’m a good girl when she cleans me up in the public restroom before, and I’m quoting her, “Queen Disgusto gets in the car.” And she laughs and tells me she’s grateful when I let her wipe me down real good a second time with lavender-scented wipes right before I jump in the backseat. And, well, having sensitive skin and a super gentle shampoo has been a blessing in disguise because I get lots of baths. Those aren’t bad. I love water, but poop is better.

So, remember POOP-FLAVORED TREATS. Tell her, please. I’d love those a lot. Bye-bye for now. Have the best weekend ever with your dogs.