Careful
A Course In Miracles says we’re most afraid of getting what we want. We fear the pain of losing our deepest desires will far outweigh not having what our heart yearns for. Or, we still need to accept that we’re (all) worthy of a beautiful, loving, and abundant life. I’ve yearned not to be on my feet all day for six-plus years. I’ve hoped not to fill and cap pouches for so long, twice weekly, that I can’t lift my left arm the next day. And, I’ve wanted to work from my sofa or bed, with my dog beside me, sleeping or ready for a movement break. This week, I finally got it. And we made the most pouches ever. It took so long to get here. It doesn’t feel real, but having Cammie, Jordan, Pandora, and our occasional guest star, Miranda, in the kitchen, making, filling, and sterilizing pouches has been a long time coming. Now, my job is to ensure I can support them and you, sell enough pouches to keep them, and strategize and plan for our future. And, at home, since day one, I haven’t wanted Mabel to be at daycare as frequently as she’s been going. But, she was so stressed on walks or me trying to give her what she needed at home. My sweet girl also required time and practice learning to love being at home alone, in my apartment, her home. But, the biggest reason Mabel was going to daycare four days a week was, no matter what game we played or how much fun I had, until recently, I never saw the giant Venus flytrap smile except in photos her daycare sends at night. But we’re there. While Mabel was on a daycare hiatus, this time, the longest one, I told her repeatedly, “I want to give you what you want.” I know the vast change was hard for her. But now we’ve had more time together, time to discover where and when she enjoys walking, time post-walk to get out her ya-yas with a tug game or a mental activity, and time to be at home, settled and quiet. I see the grin. I see the look that we know and trust and get each other. So, unless Mabel tells me otherwise, she’s only going to daycare twice a week (on kitchen days so I can be at the shop for my team) in the future, and I’m starting to look for playdates for her, so if you’re in Columbus and your dog is looking for new friends, please let me know. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me finally create a new job for myself. I’m excited to dive into work daily. And be careful what you wish for. It might come true. And if it’s good and brings you or anyone you love happiness, I hope you get it because you deserve your heart’s desires. |